Kids will go to great lengths to avoid completing an arduous task such as reading a 50 word book. They will come into your classroom screaming at the top of their lungs. They will claim that their eyes are, in fact, MELTING. Now, "my eyes are melting" is just a fancy shmancy way of saying "I'm crying uncontrollably because my teacher ACTUALLY expects me to READ!" READ!? IN SCHOOL?! WITH MY EYES!? That's the worst part!!!
Perhaps this all goes back to my previous blog where I mentioned being known as "Helga the Strong German" for the majority of my life, but I have a difficult time giving pity to most children. I don't think I'm doing anyone any favors by letting my "eyes melt" right next to the kid. Three teachers will inevitably come running after the child prepared with different speeches to console him and offers to use as slick bribery. "Can I get you a tissue for your melting eyes my dear?" "If you read for me I'll give you a big ol' sticker wicker!" "Please, please, please, read to me, PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!" The last statement is said with intense melting eyes from a grown woman. At this point, the little 5 year old has it made. He's livin' on easy street. Everyone is mere putty in his unnecessarily sweaty/sticky jam hands. Bravo folks... see ya all back here tomorrow?
So bring it on kids. Bring the whole laundry list. Your stomach hurts? Your throat? Oh your elbow too!? Too bad! Suck it up! YOU'RE READIN'!
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